A Shaded Road

La Pinada, Guatemala, 2009

Sometimes I feel like I walk on an unpaved road. Not sure of the bumps and rocks that will get in my way. The above picture is how I sometimes vision what my life looks like right now...at least what it looks like to me.

Some very bright areas where it is easy to walk.

These are the areas where I know what is going to happen. Where I am going, who I will see, what I will be doing. My comfort zone. An easy place to be. A comfortable place to be. A place where my insecurities are all but a distant memory.

And then, there are the shaded paths. Paths that I don't want to walk alone.

A place where it is hard to see. Hard to trust. Hard to know what lies ahead. A path that I don't want to walk alone. Simply because I don't know what is in store.

When I get to the shaded areas in life, I remember

Jeremiah 29:11~ For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and to not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I was walking a shaded area yesterday. All day thoughts of my trip to Guatemala consumed my mind. How am I going to raise the money? Am I going to be able to save enough to pay bills while I am gone? Can I really do this? were all questions that flooded my mind. I went into work with these thoughts.
One of my favorite couples came in to eat with me last night. They are angels that lit my path last night. After catching up like we normally do I began to tell them about my trip. They were so excited with me and when I went to grab their drinks they prayed for me and for the trip. When I was getting ready to drop off their check, the sweet woman who has been so quick to take care of me in times of need, folded up a check and placed it in my hand.
"It has been on my heart all night to give you this. It isn't much, but it's something."
Two simple sentences that touched me to tears. A couple that was sent on a day that I was worrying when I shouldn't have been. A couple sent to remind me that their is light on path always....the light of Jesus. Sent to remind me that I shouldn't ever doubt the hand of God.

I may walk a shaded road at times, but the light of Jesus is never far away.

Guatemala 2010

My sweet boy, Edgar~2009

I am slowly preparing for my next trip to Guatemala. I was so blessed to be able to go last year and I am so excited that God has made a way for me to go again this year. I am looking forward to seeing my sweet little boy, Edgar, and loving on the children and people of Guatemala. They entered my heart a year ago and they haven't left it since. You can go back and read about my experiences on the blog I started before I left the last time {here}. (There are several posts that I haven't posted there yet, mainly because some of the things I haven't been ready to share yet. In time, they will appear.)

I am currently praying that God will provide for this trip. The cost is around $1,000 and so far I have about $300. I'm completely walking by faith here. I know that God will provide, everything will be taken care of, and His name will be honored through it all. If you feel led to give toward furthering His kingdom and would like to help out with this trip, please email me Emilyroach2@gmail.com

Your gifts will be used to witness to the people of Guatemala, to pave a way for them, and for them to hear and know the love of Jesus.

My trip dates are May 28-June 6, 2010. Please start praying now for the people, for our team, and for God's glory to be shown.

An Answer to an Unasked Prayer

For the past few weeks I have had my heart and eyes set on a trip. A trip that I never thought possible, and never thought would come my way. My finances were making this trip unattainable to me and since I knew this, I didn't really think anything else about it.

How amazing is my God? Pretty amazing if you ask me. Of course, I already knew this...He just sees it fit to show me again every now and then :)

My wonderful church is going on a mission trip in little less than 6 weeks. God answered my prayer, even if it was unspoken. I had no means of paying for the trip, but He made a way and saw fit for me to go. And I'm ecstatic! I can't wait to dive in to the Lord's work even deeper than I already am. I'm humbled that someone saw fit to send me on this trip. Humbled that God chose me.

Please pray for me during the next few weeks. Pray that the Lord prepares my heart and mind, emotionally and spiritually. Pray for the people in Guatemala, that they be receiving of His word. I'm so excited to share Him with those that don't know how awesome my God is.

I'm in the process of setting up another blog as a journal for my trip and as soon as I have it set up I'll post the link.

A life changed

You may remember from a previous post that I had mentioned that one of the girls in my Grapple group at S.T.O.R.A.G.E. went on a mission trip to Nicaragua with her mom and a team of others. They arrived back in Knoxville safe and sound this past Sunday, after spending 10 days loving on children in the Hogar Agape orphanage. Last night during S.T.O.R.A.G.E. Emma shared about her experience with her friends. I was listening to this little girl tell about children who had no mommy or daddy to love them. The purpose of this trip was to share about Jesus and to bring Christmas to the orphanage. Emma shared that she realized on this trip that she had a room full of junk and these kids had nothing. Her little heart was burdened that she had so much when these children just like her had so little. It was amazing. As she was telling stories about her trip, a few boys were laughing and cutting up. Emma, with the most stern look on her face, told them that none of this was funny; it was sad and she was disappointed they thought it was funny. At that moment, I saw the love and desire in her heart for these children in Nicaragua. When I asked her about her trip, the first thing out of her mouth was "I'm going to live in Nicaragua." And I have no doubts that this little child will be used greatly in the coming years, for her life has been changed, for good.

Thank you to those that prayed for Emma's trip.

Leaving the comfort of what we know

Our message at church this morning was about Jonah and his journey to Ninevah. Most of you all know the story. God called Jonah to witness to the people of Ninevah, Jonah was on his way, decided he didn't want to go, and was then swallowed by a whale. Jonah didn't want to leave the comfort of what he knew. Most of us are like that in our lives today. We're comfortable where we are, who we're with and what we're doing. Some are called to serve elsewhere, and many answer the call right away. Some wait a little bit longer until God really pulls at them. In our service today we were blessed to have the Masters family join us. They are missionaries serving in Asia. They had a remarkable story and I'm so glad I got to hear all about their journey so far. They have been living in our Mission House for the past few months and at the end of December they will travel back to their village in Southeast Asia. Please pray for their safe travels.

Tonight as I sit here close to family and friends, there is a little girl and her mom serving Nicaragua. The left out Friday and arrived safely. Mom Michelle and daughter Emma are serving at an orphanage for the next ten days. The most amazing thing about this story? Emma is only 11 years old. I have the privilege of being Emma's Grapple Team leader in our S.T.O.R.A.G.E class at church. This remarkable little girl has such a heart for Jesus. Each week she comes to me with a different prayer request and has such awesome examples of how we should live our lives for God. Emma's family had been going to Nicaragua and serving over the last few years, but because it is so expensive Emma never got to go. About a month ago, Emma asked the church to pray that they be able to have enough money so that she could go on the next trip. Her family pulled together, sold some things, and raised enough money so that Emma could go on her first mission trip. She was ecstatic. I'm telling you, this little girl has such a burden for people. If everyone had a heart like hers, our world would be a much, much better place. We received word from her dad that Emma is doing great. She and her mom are helping and serving at an orphanage. Emma is the youngest person there with the group she is with. The most exciting part so far? She's been asked to lead the devotional on Wednesday! I'm so excited for her. And it makes me be super proud to be her teacher :-)

This week, as your going through the hustle and bustle of your daily, ordinary life, pray for those that have given up the comfort of what they knew to serve our God. Pray that Emma and Michelle stay safe and have a good trip. Pray that Emma's eyes be opened to all the things God can do and will do if we serve Him. Pray for that Masters family, and other missionaries around the world. And pray for the children at the orphanage. Pray that they understand that even if they are without the love of earthly parents, they have a heavenly parent that loves them far more than anything they can imagine.

Update on Gary

Gary Wayne's surgery went wonderful. He got his new heart and was awake and talking last night. This is a huge answer to prayer. As long as the heart works with his body, he should be able to live a much more normal life than he's been living. I can't imagine what he has gone through the past year or so. Not knowing if his heart was going to give out on him in a blink of an eye. I'm so thankful for God's hand in this. If it were not for Him, Gary would not be alive. I know that for awhile I struggled with the fact of WHY. Why was my friend, who was only 19 at the time, only have a 5% chance of life? It was hard to imagine. We grew up together. Went to the same church our entire lives and were the same age. It was crazy. We weren't supposed to have heart failure. But it happened, and it made me put more faith in God.

Thank you all so much for your prayers during this time.

Please Pray Today

A dear, dear childhood friend of mine is going into surgery today. He has been sick for quite some time. He is only 20 years old. He's needed a new heart since last year. This morning, around 1:30 am, his family got the call and there is a heart for him! He is in surgery now, so please pray that everything go ok, that the heart works well in his body, and that he recovers quickly. The new heart is an answer to a lot of people's prayers. God is so good!!

Also, please pray for the family of the donor heart. For Gary to receive another chance at life, another one had to be lost.

I'll update more later....

How Adoption Changed My Life

(November 2006)
This cute little baby is my sweet little cousin. He joined our family almost two years ago by adoption. He is such a doll and absolutely precious.

The road leading to this sweet little baby boy was not an easy one. My aunt and uncle had been pursuing adoption for a quite some time. Right before I moved to college, a young girl had chosen them to be the parents of her baby. We were so excited! The birth mother was due pretty soon, so we didn't have a lot of time to get ready. When she went into labor we were there at the hospital with her. When she had the baby she wanted us there. We were over joyed at the thought of the baby joining our family.

But God had different plans.

My aunt and uncle were to bring this new baby home from the hospital. They were excited at the thought of being new parents. They arrived at the hospital, ready to bring home their new son. But things had changed. The birth mother changed her mind. Changed her mind. Wanted to keep her baby. My aunt and uncle arrived at the hospital and the news that she had changed her mind hit them both like a ton of bricks. This girl that we had taken in, loved, and cared for, took the most precious gift not from just my aunt and uncle, but from her baby as well. She was a troubled girl, and the odds of her being able to give her baby a good life were slim. My aunt was devastated. They went home with an empty car seat and empty hearts. This little baby, whom we had only known for 3 days was already so very loved by our family. We had held him, kissed him, and loved him from day one. But he was no longer ours.

My aunt was almost certain that she didn't want to try again. She had already been crushed when she couldn't have a child of her own, and when she had the chance to love another baby, it was taken away as well. We cried and grieved for the baby that wasn't placed with us. But we also understood my aunts pain. She wanted to be a mommy so badly. But at times, the pain didn't seem worth it. In the end, she finally decided to give it another shot.

Exactly a month after the failed placement, they received a call. A single, young girl had chosen them. She was due in two months. She knew she couldn't care for her baby like she wanted, and she wanted to give him the best life possible. And she chose my aunt and uncle. The case workers told her of the previous situation and she was very empathetic. She knew that my aunt and uncle were taking a huge step in putting their name back out there but she said she just knew they were the right people.

Over the next couple of months we spent time with birth mother #2 and she was amazing. She had an overwhelming story and the fact that she loved her baby enough to give him up so he could have a good life was more than I could sometimes understand. I had a very guarded heart before the baby was born. I hurt from the last time and it was hard to let that go. There was always that fear in the back of my mind. And I know it was there for my aunt and uncle as well.

November 7, 2006, was a day that will always be special. Davy was born into our family, and birth mother #2 gave us the most precious gift anyone could ever give, besides Jesus dying for us. I have the most deepest amount of respect for birth mother #2. She will never truly know just how much she means to our family.

The adoption agency that my aunt and uncle went through had a benefit not long ago and made a movie about my aunt and uncle's journey. Nothing huge, just a short and sweet documentary. They also featured birth mother #2. In the video, my aunt and uncle talked about their first experience, and so did birth mother #2.

I'll never forget what she said.

I can't remember the exact words, but I'm pretty close. In her interview, she said that she although she knew my aunt and uncle experienced such sadness in the time that the first baby didn't become theirs, she was happy. She was sad that my aunt and uncle hurt, but she was happy because she got to give them her baby. She said that if they would have gotten the first baby, she wouldn't have had them to choose from. And she's right.

Even though we experienced some sadness, the joy and laughs we receive now far outweigh the sad times. Davy lights up the room and I can't imagine life without him. I love him more than words can explain and I'm so happy he is a part of our family. He'll be two in a couple of months and I can't believe it. He's walking and in the process of potty training and is talking better. He still likes to talk on the phone to his "Mimi" and I love it! Even though I can't understand him, it makes me smile when he gets on the phone and squeals at the top of his lungs "MIMI!!!"

I'm so thankful for birth mother #1 and birth mother #2 for the experiences that I had concerning adoption. I learned that in heartbreak there is a miracle. And God is in control. He knew exactly what He was doing. He knew Davy belonged to us long before we did. We just had to trust in Him.

As I grow up and begin thinking of starting a family, my heart cries out adoption. I want to carry a child of my own, but I also have a strong desire to give a child a loving home and good life that might not otherwise have one. And if that's God's will, then surely it will happen.

Has adoption ever touched your life? I would love to hear your story!
(July 2008)

Isn't he such a doll??!?!

Power of Prayer

I spoke with Kristen today, and the job she was waiting to hear back from called and as long as she passes the drug test, she starts on the 25th! Praise God for answering this prayer. Kristen is super excited, and this job is close to home and will still allow her plenty of time with her precious little boy. Thank you all who prayed for Kristen! I'm pretty certain she's going to pass the drug test, so let's pray that she have a good start day on the 25th!

Anything you need us to pray for?

P.U.S.H. Wednesday

My goal was to get this out this morning, but life sometimes gets in the way of things. Nonetheless, here is our list for this week. There have been some updates, and they are in blue!

1.My friend Kristen is currently looking for a job, with no luck so far. She's a single mom with a sweet baby boy to raise, so pray that God will bless her with a good job quickly, and one that will allow her time to spend with her baby as well. Kristen had an interview last week and got called back for the second round. She went to that and feels good about it, she's just waiting to hear back from them.
2.Josh is still covered up with work. Which is a good thing, and we thank God daily for His rich blessings in the work area. Pray for Josh's safety as he travels to jobs, and for his men that work for him. Pray that God use Josh and give him the knowledge to make each job a success. Josh hasn't had to go out of town much this week, and I'm so thankful for that! I miss him when he's gone. He'll be leaving on August 24th and will be gone for a week to a class though. I don't know what I'll do while he's gone!
3.Our families. There are varoius situations within our families that just need prayer. God knows the needs there.
4.There is a blog I read on a daily basis, and she's also on my blog list: Dreaming Big Dreams they are in the process of moving, and adopting! Since I come from a family where an adoption just took place, I know the process and how stressful it can be. Not only are they adopting, but they are adopting from Haiti, and they are adopting TWO children! Amazing! I think the Ivey's are getting closer and closer to moving! Pray for a safe journey to Texas!
5. Another blog I read is Bring the Rain: The Story of Audrey Caroline and love it. Angie will be speaking at a church in October, so pray for her as she prepares for that, as well as homeschooling her twin girls.

New Requests not on last weeks list:
1. Sarah- her husband is searching for a new job, and from her blog, he looks to have had a pretty promising offer from a company. Pray for them and the management of the company that they see fit to hire Sarah's husband. Searching for a job is stressful and hard. You can read more about Sarah on the post below!
2. Me- I start a new job next week. With cosmetology school hours being so crazy, it has been hard for me to find something where I'm going to make decent money and still be able to study. I start serving at Puleos Grille, and I'm nervous and excited! Hopefully the money will be good!
3. My childhood friend, Gary, is sick. He's battled MD (muscular dystrophy) his whole life, and it has reached his heart. He's 20. Only about 5-10% of his heart is working like it should. He's on the transplant list, and now his activities are very limited. Please pray that he gets a heart soon. It is heartbreaking to know that someone I have grown up with, is on the verge of death.
4. My dad is possibly facing another deployment. We don't know where yet, but it seems to be they are on the ticket for Afghanistan.

If you're new, and just now reading, feel free to join us in praying for those listed above. If you have a request, post it in the comment section, or if you want to remain anonymous, email me at emmylou924@comcast.net I'll post your request for next weeks segment. And please, feel free to tell others about Pray Until Something Happens(P.U.S.H.) Wednesdays on your blog! The more the merrier!