Giving to Guatemala

Friday, August 15, 2008

How Adoption Changed My Life

(November 2006)
This cute little baby is my sweet little cousin. He joined our family almost two years ago by adoption. He is such a doll and absolutely precious.

The road leading to this sweet little baby boy was not an easy one. My aunt and uncle had been pursuing adoption for a quite some time. Right before I moved to college, a young girl had chosen them to be the parents of her baby. We were so excited! The birth mother was due pretty soon, so we didn't have a lot of time to get ready. When she went into labor we were there at the hospital with her. When she had the baby she wanted us there. We were over joyed at the thought of the baby joining our family.

But God had different plans.

My aunt and uncle were to bring this new baby home from the hospital. They were excited at the thought of being new parents. They arrived at the hospital, ready to bring home their new son. But things had changed. The birth mother changed her mind. Changed her mind. Wanted to keep her baby. My aunt and uncle arrived at the hospital and the news that she had changed her mind hit them both like a ton of bricks. This girl that we had taken in, loved, and cared for, took the most precious gift not from just my aunt and uncle, but from her baby as well. She was a troubled girl, and the odds of her being able to give her baby a good life were slim. My aunt was devastated. They went home with an empty car seat and empty hearts. This little baby, whom we had only known for 3 days was already so very loved by our family. We had held him, kissed him, and loved him from day one. But he was no longer ours.

My aunt was almost certain that she didn't want to try again. She had already been crushed when she couldn't have a child of her own, and when she had the chance to love another baby, it was taken away as well. We cried and grieved for the baby that wasn't placed with us. But we also understood my aunts pain. She wanted to be a mommy so badly. But at times, the pain didn't seem worth it. In the end, she finally decided to give it another shot.

Exactly a month after the failed placement, they received a call. A single, young girl had chosen them. She was due in two months. She knew she couldn't care for her baby like she wanted, and she wanted to give him the best life possible. And she chose my aunt and uncle. The case workers told her of the previous situation and she was very empathetic. She knew that my aunt and uncle were taking a huge step in putting their name back out there but she said she just knew they were the right people.

Over the next couple of months we spent time with birth mother #2 and she was amazing. She had an overwhelming story and the fact that she loved her baby enough to give him up so he could have a good life was more than I could sometimes understand. I had a very guarded heart before the baby was born. I hurt from the last time and it was hard to let that go. There was always that fear in the back of my mind. And I know it was there for my aunt and uncle as well.

November 7, 2006, was a day that will always be special. Davy was born into our family, and birth mother #2 gave us the most precious gift anyone could ever give, besides Jesus dying for us. I have the most deepest amount of respect for birth mother #2. She will never truly know just how much she means to our family.

The adoption agency that my aunt and uncle went through had a benefit not long ago and made a movie about my aunt and uncle's journey. Nothing huge, just a short and sweet documentary. They also featured birth mother #2. In the video, my aunt and uncle talked about their first experience, and so did birth mother #2.

I'll never forget what she said.

I can't remember the exact words, but I'm pretty close. In her interview, she said that she although she knew my aunt and uncle experienced such sadness in the time that the first baby didn't become theirs, she was happy. She was sad that my aunt and uncle hurt, but she was happy because she got to give them her baby. She said that if they would have gotten the first baby, she wouldn't have had them to choose from. And she's right.

Even though we experienced some sadness, the joy and laughs we receive now far outweigh the sad times. Davy lights up the room and I can't imagine life without him. I love him more than words can explain and I'm so happy he is a part of our family. He'll be two in a couple of months and I can't believe it. He's walking and in the process of potty training and is talking better. He still likes to talk on the phone to his "Mimi" and I love it! Even though I can't understand him, it makes me smile when he gets on the phone and squeals at the top of his lungs "MIMI!!!"

I'm so thankful for birth mother #1 and birth mother #2 for the experiences that I had concerning adoption. I learned that in heartbreak there is a miracle. And God is in control. He knew exactly what He was doing. He knew Davy belonged to us long before we did. We just had to trust in Him.

As I grow up and begin thinking of starting a family, my heart cries out adoption. I want to carry a child of my own, but I also have a strong desire to give a child a loving home and good life that might not otherwise have one. And if that's God's will, then surely it will happen.

Has adoption ever touched your life? I would love to hear your story!
(July 2008)

Isn't he such a doll??!?!