Giving to Guatemala

Thursday, October 30, 2008


The past few weeks I have been battling an inner struggle. A struggle of what exactly I did wrong, what could I have done differently, what could I have done to notice things sooner, what can I do to keep it from happening again.

The answer.... Nothing.

There is absolutely nothing that I could have done to prevent the things that happened. I did everything right and was me the entire time. He changed. He messed up. He cheated. Not me.

A friend said today "There's nothing you could have done, or can do in the future. You can't stop them. If they're going to cheat, they're going to cheat. No matter how good they have it." And I think she's right. I did everything right. I was a good girlfriend. I treated Josh with love and respect, and in the end, I was the one that was mistreated. I loved and lost, and gained far more than words can describe.

What exactly did I gain?

I gained a new found respect for myself. I learned that no matter how comfortable you may be in life, it can change in an instant, but there's something good that will come out of it. I have a better relationship with my sister, Sam. I made new friends that I never would have made had I still been with Josh. I enjoy life more. I have grown closer to God and am being shown where I need to be moving with my life. I'm happy. I've gained a happiness that I didn't have before. All because of nothing I did.

I was dealt a hand of life I didn't want to be dealt again. But I came out a winner in the end. And for that, I'm thankful.