You think you really know someone....

...and you find out, you don't really know them at all.

I have called it quits on mine and Josh's relationship. Without going into major detail, let's just say...
I'M NOT GOING TO BE PLAYED

Period.

I'm not really sure what happend, but I refuse to be played by anyone, let alone a man, and not to mention someone I loved dearly. If he would like to take a step down then by all means, I hope he's happy.

I still have a lot of questions. Like why do people lie? Why do people feel the need to hurt those that love them unconditionally? Why do guys cheat? And then lie about it?

But, with all that said, I'm back to the blogging world. Sorry for the absence. I have lots of other things to blog about, and as soon as I have internet hooked back up in my apartment, there will be an abundance of posts I'm sure. Until then, I'm living my life the way I want to live it, and having a blast with my girls and sisters.

Another URGENT Request

You know the saying, "When it rains, it pours"

It is definitely pouring here at our house.

I just received a call from my Uncle Roger and my cousin Dana was in a bad car wreck over the weekend and had to be taken to a hospital here in Knoxville. The impact was so bad, the seatbelt caused bruising on her kidney and it was bleeding. They waited 24hours to see if the bleeding would stop on its own, however it didn't, so they moved on to the next procedure which was a radiation type treatment to try to burn the spot that was bleeding. So far the bleeding has stopped, but it will be another 24hours before they will move her to a regular room, just to be on the safe side.

Please pray. It seems everything that could possibly happen this week so far, has.

How Adoption Changed My Life

(November 2006)
This cute little baby is my sweet little cousin. He joined our family almost two years ago by adoption. He is such a doll and absolutely precious.

The road leading to this sweet little baby boy was not an easy one. My aunt and uncle had been pursuing adoption for a quite some time. Right before I moved to college, a young girl had chosen them to be the parents of her baby. We were so excited! The birth mother was due pretty soon, so we didn't have a lot of time to get ready. When she went into labor we were there at the hospital with her. When she had the baby she wanted us there. We were over joyed at the thought of the baby joining our family.

But God had different plans.

My aunt and uncle were to bring this new baby home from the hospital. They were excited at the thought of being new parents. They arrived at the hospital, ready to bring home their new son. But things had changed. The birth mother changed her mind. Changed her mind. Wanted to keep her baby. My aunt and uncle arrived at the hospital and the news that she had changed her mind hit them both like a ton of bricks. This girl that we had taken in, loved, and cared for, took the most precious gift not from just my aunt and uncle, but from her baby as well. She was a troubled girl, and the odds of her being able to give her baby a good life were slim. My aunt was devastated. They went home with an empty car seat and empty hearts. This little baby, whom we had only known for 3 days was already so very loved by our family. We had held him, kissed him, and loved him from day one. But he was no longer ours.

My aunt was almost certain that she didn't want to try again. She had already been crushed when she couldn't have a child of her own, and when she had the chance to love another baby, it was taken away as well. We cried and grieved for the baby that wasn't placed with us. But we also understood my aunts pain. She wanted to be a mommy so badly. But at times, the pain didn't seem worth it. In the end, she finally decided to give it another shot.

Exactly a month after the failed placement, they received a call. A single, young girl had chosen them. She was due in two months. She knew she couldn't care for her baby like she wanted, and she wanted to give him the best life possible. And she chose my aunt and uncle. The case workers told her of the previous situation and she was very empathetic. She knew that my aunt and uncle were taking a huge step in putting their name back out there but she said she just knew they were the right people.

Over the next couple of months we spent time with birth mother #2 and she was amazing. She had an overwhelming story and the fact that she loved her baby enough to give him up so he could have a good life was more than I could sometimes understand. I had a very guarded heart before the baby was born. I hurt from the last time and it was hard to let that go. There was always that fear in the back of my mind. And I know it was there for my aunt and uncle as well.

November 7, 2006, was a day that will always be special. Davy was born into our family, and birth mother #2 gave us the most precious gift anyone could ever give, besides Jesus dying for us. I have the most deepest amount of respect for birth mother #2. She will never truly know just how much she means to our family.

The adoption agency that my aunt and uncle went through had a benefit not long ago and made a movie about my aunt and uncle's journey. Nothing huge, just a short and sweet documentary. They also featured birth mother #2. In the video, my aunt and uncle talked about their first experience, and so did birth mother #2.

I'll never forget what she said.

I can't remember the exact words, but I'm pretty close. In her interview, she said that she although she knew my aunt and uncle experienced such sadness in the time that the first baby didn't become theirs, she was happy. She was sad that my aunt and uncle hurt, but she was happy because she got to give them her baby. She said that if they would have gotten the first baby, she wouldn't have had them to choose from. And she's right.

Even though we experienced some sadness, the joy and laughs we receive now far outweigh the sad times. Davy lights up the room and I can't imagine life without him. I love him more than words can explain and I'm so happy he is a part of our family. He'll be two in a couple of months and I can't believe it. He's walking and in the process of potty training and is talking better. He still likes to talk on the phone to his "Mimi" and I love it! Even though I can't understand him, it makes me smile when he gets on the phone and squeals at the top of his lungs "MIMI!!!"

I'm so thankful for birth mother #1 and birth mother #2 for the experiences that I had concerning adoption. I learned that in heartbreak there is a miracle. And God is in control. He knew exactly what He was doing. He knew Davy belonged to us long before we did. We just had to trust in Him.

As I grow up and begin thinking of starting a family, my heart cries out adoption. I want to carry a child of my own, but I also have a strong desire to give a child a loving home and good life that might not otherwise have one. And if that's God's will, then surely it will happen.

Has adoption ever touched your life? I would love to hear your story!
(July 2008)

Isn't he such a doll??!?!

Two years ago...

Two years ago I was getting ready to make the "dreaded" drive to Knoxville where my parents would drop me and most of my belongings off in a dorm room on The University of Tennessee's campus. (Can you tell I didn't want to leave my little town?)

I never, ever, ever thought I would leave Greenbrier. Ever. I never thought I would go to college, much less on three hours away from "home." Parts of my senior year were hard for me. My dad had been on a deployment since June after my sophomore year. So when I began my senior year of high school, my daddy had been gone for over a year, and there was still no word of when he was going to be home. Here I am, starting my senior year, and my daddy is in Iraq. I'll tell you right now, that feeling sucked. I didn't know when and if he was going to be home to see me graduate, so leaving for college was the absolute farthest thing from my mind. Graduation was also a distant thought. My guidance counselors were both family friends, so they had my best interests at heart. They pretty much made me fill out applications to schools, and I did. I filled out a bunch. They just never got submitted because I didn't pay the application fees. (I thought I was going to get that one by them, I didn't.) I finally payed the fee for UT, mainly because one fee covered three schools, Knoxville, Chattanooga, and Martin. I figured if I got accepted to one, my duty was done. And accepted I was.

My daddy's deployment came to an end, and he was home right before Christmas. At this time, I didn't know if I was accepted to UT yet, but I still had no intentions of leaving for college, so I didn't care. I received my acceptance letter in the mail a few days after my dad was home. Of course, my parents were excited, and I was too, because to me, getting accepted to UT was a huge accomplishment, but inside I had a knot in my stomach too. I didn't want to live three hours away. My dad had just come home, I had a boyfriend, and all my family was in Greenbrier. Not to mention my best friend wasn't going away to college, so who would I have to go with me??

I still had it in my mind that I wasn't going to college, and I had serious doubts that my parents would make me go to UT. So, I went through the rest of my senior year without giving any other school a thought. I had a blast. Graduation came and I still had it in my little mind I was going to live in Greenbrier forever. Remember that boyfriend? Yeah, we were still together and we were going to be together forever. High school sweethearts, best friends, and all that jazz. We were the "perfect couple."

Summer came and I never registered for orientation at UT. I figured if I "forgot" it would be too late and I wouldn't have to go. Wrong. They sent a letter and my mom sat at the computer next to me and made me register. It looked like I was going to UT after all. I went to orientation and decided that it might not be so bad. I could at least give it a shot. Not to mention that I got free football tickets. Who didn't want free tickets to watch the Vols play?? Plus, I could always come home on the weekends and see the boyfriend. We would be ok, right?

I moved to Knoxville and literally came home almost every weekend. Except home game weekends. Free tickets, remember?? And I love the Vols :-) My relationship seemed to be hanging on, and I didn't know really anyone else to be interested in anyone else. Life seemed to be good, and it was for the most part. I hated being in Knoxville (besides those free football games) so I had every intention of moving back home after my year was up. And those were my plans, until after Christmas.

{I'm sorry. This turned into a really long post, but it's my blog, and I'm having fun going back a little and remember all this stuff. Plus, all these things are what brought me to where I am today, and I like knowing it.}

Christmas break came and went and I moved back to Knoxville. I started coming home less and less. The drive got old after a while and my relationship with the boyfriend was starting to fizzle out. We ended up breaking up in March, two months before I was supposed to move back home. That break up literally made me do a 180. I got with a friend of mine who was planning on staying the summer in Knoxville and we decided to get an apartment. I called my dad, he co signed, and that was that. I was living in Knoxville for the summer.

The ex-boyfriend found out and was furious. He tried to talk me out of it. We talked and talked. We got back together and broke up and tried again to work things out. I got a job at Hooters and loved it. The ex boyfriend and I still tried to make things work. However, I knew in my heart, it was never going to work, yet I still held on because he was a security that I could still hold on to. A month passed and I decided I didn't want to go back to college. So I emailed my dad, told him I still wanted to live in Knoxville, but didn't want to go back to UT. (Even the free football games weren't going to change my mind) I didn't go back to UT. I worked at Hooters, and the ex-boyfriend and I ended our relationship for good. No looking back. I was starting a new life.

And I started a new life...
And by reading this blog after today...
You're reading all about it :-)

Stay tuned for how I met my sweetheart!

Remembering

It's a Friday night. It's summer. We just got inside from swimming in our pool and it's time for dinner. Our hair is all wet, we put on clothes over our wet swimsuites and get ready for our regular visit to Stokley's. We get the big corner table where the booth wraps all the way around the table in a semi circle. It's just big enough for Nan, Pop, Tiffany, Lance, me and Caiti. We order and eat. We finish, and go home. We take off our clothes in the car and throw them on the patio table. We all jump in the water. Nan sits outside with us until well after dark while we swim. Pop is inside watching tv. Those were the days....

Pop is sick. He has cancer. We all sleep in our sleeping bags in the floor of the living room. I can hear Pop's oxygen tank making noises while I try to sleep. His hospital bed is in the den. He sleeps alot. We don't go to Stokley's anymore.

I've just started second grade. We're playing outside on the playground. School is almost out for the weekend. I'm on the swings with my friends. Mrs. Beth our school secretary is walking down the hill with my daddy. My daddy never picks me up from school. I run to him and he picks me up and holds me really tight, then puts me down and we go get my things. Mrs. Beth just gives me a hug, and she looks sad.

I get in the front seat with my daddy. He holds my hand and asks "Emmer, do you remember when Blue Birdie died?"
I nodded yes.
He continues, "Well, Pop died today. He's not going to be at Nan's anymore. But he's not sick anymore."
We leave the school and go home. I cried all the home. But when we got in the drive way, my daddy told me I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't cry in front of Nan.

My daddy gave me a piggy back ride up the driveway. We go in the back door and everything is the way it was before. The couch is back where it should be, and Pop's not there. His hospital bed is gone. Mom and Caiti were on the loveseat. Uncle Van, Tiffany and Lance were on the couch. Nan was sitting on the fireplace. I find my way over to Nan and sit next to her. Everybody is really sad.

Uncle Bill and Aunt Jean come over to watch us while Nan, Daddy, Mom, Uncle Van and Uncle Bubba leave. They're going to the funeral home. Aunt Jean brings Kentucky Fried Chicken with her, and a chocolate cake. She doesn't even make us eat the chicken. She just lets us eat the chocolate cake if we want it. She sits in the rocking chair and takes turns holding us and rocking us.

A few days later my Pop is laying in a box. He's asleep. People are giving us hugs and telling us everything is going to be ok. It's not ok. My Pop won't wake up. I ask my Nan if I can touch him. She tells me that I can. I reach out and touch my Pop's hand for the last time. It's cold and stiff. It's not my Pop. I tell my Nan that I'm ok. I just want to hold his hand.

We all go to the cemetery, and take Pop pretty flowers. They're getting ready to put my Pop in the ground. My Pop who would let us watch western movies with him, my Pop who would hold us tight if we did something wrong, my Pop. I didn't understand. My uncle Bubba was crying. He jumped up and held onto my Pop's box. He was crying loud and that made me cry. Bubba didn't cry. He was tough, he made us laugh. He tickled us and wrestled with us, and threw us in the pool. But that day, he cried. And I cried too.

And I still cry today.

To my Pop:
I was just a little girl when you died. The world was an innocent place to me until it took you away. I miss you. We all miss you. I'm glad you're not hurting anymore. I can't wait to see you again. I know you're watching over me. Raylon starts kindergarten next week. You would have really liked her. She's really funny. She asks about you all the time. The last time we went to give you flowers, she picked out a really pretty white rose for you. She asked me if you would like it. I told her you would. I love you Pop and miss you a lot.

Love,
Em

Interesting little snippets from my life

I have a sweet puppy named Axle. He's great. He's a yellow lab, and the best thing in the world. I don't know what I would do without him.
My little cousin, Raylon, starts kindergarten next week. I can't believe she's going to be 6 in October. I wish she was still a baby. I'm praying that she doesn't go to kindergarten and tell her teacher that when she grows up she wants to be a Hooter girl like her Mimi. I'm not a Hooter girl anymore, so maybe she's forgot about that little dream of hers.
When I was little, I had pet birds. One was blue, and his name was Blue Birdie, one was white, and her name was Snowball, and one was a cockatiel and her name was Baby Sunshine. Sometimes, I wish I still had a pet bird.
One Christmas, Tiffany and I decided that our grandmother needed a pet, since she lived by herself. Mind you, she was perfectly happy by herself, and was quite content with just her grandchildren there at various times. Anyways, we got the bright idea to get her a bird. She wasn't very happy, but Molly stayed a part of our family until one day, Molly just "flew right out the door"
I was a cheerleader when I was in middle school. For one year. That was enough. I quickly decided that I didn't really like girls. And I really didn't like to cheer.
After I was a cheerleader though, I somehow got talked into coaching Jr.Pro cheerleading for two years while I was in high school. I loved it, and loved my girls. Most of them were 5 then, they're alot older and bigger now. It seems so long ago.
I never thought I would leave my small town. NEVER. I had my life planned out. I would graduate high school, get married to my then boyfriend, and have a family. I never saw working in my mind, I never saw college, I never saw anything but my one redlight town. Boy did that change. Now I'm in Knoxville, 3 hours away from my one redlight town, not married, and in cosmetology school...

And couldn't be happier

Power of Prayer

I spoke with Kristen today, and the job she was waiting to hear back from called and as long as she passes the drug test, she starts on the 25th! Praise God for answering this prayer. Kristen is super excited, and this job is close to home and will still allow her plenty of time with her precious little boy. Thank you all who prayed for Kristen! I'm pretty certain she's going to pass the drug test, so let's pray that she have a good start day on the 25th!

Anything you need us to pray for?

P.U.S.H. Wednesday

My goal was to get this out this morning, but life sometimes gets in the way of things. Nonetheless, here is our list for this week. There have been some updates, and they are in blue!

1.My friend Kristen is currently looking for a job, with no luck so far. She's a single mom with a sweet baby boy to raise, so pray that God will bless her with a good job quickly, and one that will allow her time to spend with her baby as well. Kristen had an interview last week and got called back for the second round. She went to that and feels good about it, she's just waiting to hear back from them.
2.Josh is still covered up with work. Which is a good thing, and we thank God daily for His rich blessings in the work area. Pray for Josh's safety as he travels to jobs, and for his men that work for him. Pray that God use Josh and give him the knowledge to make each job a success. Josh hasn't had to go out of town much this week, and I'm so thankful for that! I miss him when he's gone. He'll be leaving on August 24th and will be gone for a week to a class though. I don't know what I'll do while he's gone!
3.Our families. There are varoius situations within our families that just need prayer. God knows the needs there.
4.There is a blog I read on a daily basis, and she's also on my blog list: Dreaming Big Dreams they are in the process of moving, and adopting! Since I come from a family where an adoption just took place, I know the process and how stressful it can be. Not only are they adopting, but they are adopting from Haiti, and they are adopting TWO children! Amazing! I think the Ivey's are getting closer and closer to moving! Pray for a safe journey to Texas!
5. Another blog I read is Bring the Rain: The Story of Audrey Caroline and love it. Angie will be speaking at a church in October, so pray for her as she prepares for that, as well as homeschooling her twin girls.

New Requests not on last weeks list:
1. Sarah- her husband is searching for a new job, and from her blog, he looks to have had a pretty promising offer from a company. Pray for them and the management of the company that they see fit to hire Sarah's husband. Searching for a job is stressful and hard. You can read more about Sarah on the post below!
2. Me- I start a new job next week. With cosmetology school hours being so crazy, it has been hard for me to find something where I'm going to make decent money and still be able to study. I start serving at Puleos Grille, and I'm nervous and excited! Hopefully the money will be good!
3. My childhood friend, Gary, is sick. He's battled MD (muscular dystrophy) his whole life, and it has reached his heart. He's 20. Only about 5-10% of his heart is working like it should. He's on the transplant list, and now his activities are very limited. Please pray that he gets a heart soon. It is heartbreaking to know that someone I have grown up with, is on the verge of death.
4. My dad is possibly facing another deployment. We don't know where yet, but it seems to be they are on the ticket for Afghanistan.

If you're new, and just now reading, feel free to join us in praying for those listed above. If you have a request, post it in the comment section, or if you want to remain anonymous, email me at emmylou924@comcast.net I'll post your request for next weeks segment. And please, feel free to tell others about Pray Until Something Happens(P.U.S.H.) Wednesdays on your blog! The more the merrier!

Preview for P.U.S.H. Wednesday

"...the greatest power in the world is the power of prayer." ~ Cecil B. DeMille

There is a request that for some reason is on my heart right now. I could wait until Wednesday to post, but I feel like I need to post it right now. So all you prayer warriors stop what you're doing and say a quick prayer:

Sarah, a new blog friend (you can view her blog link to the right), sent me a request about her husband finding a new job. I personally know what a struggle it is trying to find the right job that suites your needs. Right before I sat down to work on this post I clicked over to her blog, and she had given an update on his job search progress. From what she has said, the job he is applying for would be a huge answer to prayer, with great incentives and advancement opportunities. Join me in praying that this be the job God would have for Sarah's husband. Pray that it be one with just the right opportunities that will meet his and Sarah's needs now and in the future.

Again, I know it's only Monday, but like I said, I felt the need to give a little preview to our Wednesday requests. I imagine there will likely be more sneak peeks in the future as well!

A quick review

This week has been crazy busy.... here's a quick rundown:

• Started cosmetology school, and love it! I've learned how to do so much already. The teachers are great and so are the other students. Last week I learned how to do two cuts, roll a perm and a roller set. I'll be honest, I didn't think we would jump right into the practical stuff so fast, but I'm glad we did. I think it will help not get so bored! I had my first test on Thursday and made a 100!
  
• Lacey came up on Wednesday so I got a little girl time with my sister! We went shopping for me some school stuff and then had Maggy Moos ice cream! Yummy!
• My post for VBS somehow got erased, so I'm having to re-do it when I have the spare time. I may just end up posting fewer pictures than I had planned.
• Got caught up on laundry and cleaning and grocery shopping today. I was so tired, I didn't even make it to church :-( Sorry Dennis!! Laundry is almost finished, but I've given up on it for today and I'm now snuggled up in my bed!
• I started the P.U.S.H Wednesdays segment this past week. Hopefully, as word gets out, it will grow and minister. I've had a few new requests to add to the list for next week, so be looking! As long as I don't loose track of the days, it will be posted on Wednesday morning (or really, really, really late Tuesday night!)
• Life in general is good. Everyone at home is doing well as far as I know. Tiffany's wedding plans are coming along well as far as know. I'll be glad when that is all over with! Mom is busy helping her and planning her shower too. Wedding madness will all be over with after October 11.
  

And I think that about sums up what's going in my life right now. I think I'm going to snuggle up in the bed now and watch a little bit of TV. Hopefully, I'll fall asleep early tonight. I haven't been getting to bed until close to midnight, so hopefully tonight I can fall asleep before midnight! I highly doubt it though.

P.U.S.H Wednesdays

I'm sure many of you have seen the little acronym P.U.S.H- Pray Until Something Happens. That's what my new Wednesday segment here will be called. And since I had a little extra time on my hands, I figured rather than wait until next week to start, why not start today! I explained all about it in yesterdays post so you can read about it there. Basically, if you have a prayer request that you would like included in the upcoming weeks P.U.S.H. post, email me at emmylou924@comcast.net if you want your request to remain anonymous, please let me know. If not, I'll only publish your first name. Or, you can leave a comment of your request on the current weeks post, and I'll transfer it to the next weeks. Over the course of time, if your request is here, and once it's answered, PLEASE...let us know!

As for this week's requests, they will all come from me until others add comments/or send me emails. I will do my best at updating so that I get everyones requests in for this week, but they will defintely be on next weeks!

Join me in praying for the following:
1.My friend Kristen is currently looking for a job, with no luck so far. She's a single mom with a sweet baby boy to raise, so pray that God will bless her with a good job quickly, and one that will allow her time to spend with her baby as well.
2.Josh is still covered up with work. Which is a good thing, and we thank God daily for His rich blessings in the work area. Pray for Josh's safety as he travels to jobs, and for his men that work for him. Pray that God use Josh and give him the knowledge to make each job a success.
3.Our families. There are varoius situations within our families that just need prayer. God knows the needs there.
4.There is a blog I read on a daily basis, and she's also on my blog list: Dreaming Big Dreams they are in the process of moving, and adopting! Since I come from a family where an adoption just took place, I know the process and how stressful it can be. Not only are they adopting, but they are adopting from Haiti, and they are adopting TWO children! Amazing!
5. Another blog I read is Bring the Rain: The Story of Audrey Caroline and love it. Angie will be speaking at a church in October, so pray for her as she prepares for that, as well as homeschooling her twin girls.

So far, those are the only requests I have. Please, if you are reading and believe in the power of prayer, leave a comment, and if you have a request, please leave that as well. I will add you to my list of requests, and include them in my daily prayer times as well!