I miss you most at Christmas time

If you've read any of my blogs before, you're probably going to know where this is going. But, since I'm sad today and battling depression I'm just going to get it out here. Because that's what I do here :-)

I miss my Aunt Zelma today. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss her, but the holidays seem to get me worse than anytime of the year. I think it's because this is the time when I spent the last few days of her life with her. And they were the best days of my life. There will be nothing in my life, besides the day of my salvation, that will compare to those days. The memories of those days are still crystal clear in my mind, as are most of the times I was with my Aunt Zelma.

Tonight I can't stop missing her. I miss her hugs, how no matter how big I was, I could always curl up in the bed with her and she would play with my hair. Even in her weakest days she played with my hair. I miss her love. I miss everything about her. I miss sharing mexican pizzas from Taco Bell with her, or splitting something from Captain D's with her. I miss it all. I miss her.

No matter how much I miss her though, I know she's here with me. She's close in my heart everywhere I go. Always watching, always protecting. Always here :) Her love will never be forgotten.

Sunny Saturday

Today was such a pretty, sunny day. I woke up early this morning and got Axle all taken care of and headed off to Jamestown for a family day. I'm so glad I went. It was so good to see some of my family that I don't get to see that often. We had a fun day just relaxing at Uncle Lanny and Uncle Johnny's. And of course, we ate :-)
I had every intention of going to the cemetery to "visit" my Aunt Zelma. I didn't make it there. The hurt is still just as great as it was back when she first went to heaven. It's been three years. I haven't been back to her gravesite since the day she was laid to rest there. I know in my heart that it's just a headstone there, that she's watching over me from above, but I feel like I should go. But, as I was driving back home, I realized that I don't have to go to her grave to visit her or to talk to her. I can talk to her whenever and wherever. And that's what I did. I miss her. I miss her more than anyone will ever truly comprhend. I don't think some people realize just how much of an impact she made on my life.
Tomorrow is a busy day for me. Tonia and Dennis and Davy (aunt, uncle, and baby cousin) are visiting in Knoxville tonight and tomorrow, and tomorrow we are going to the zoo. I can't wait to just spend some time with Davy. I miss that special little baby and hate that I'm missing him growing up. Expect lots of pictures from the zoo!